Monday, March 16, 2009

I Hate Windows


MS Sloooooow

OK, this VBA programming crap is making me crazy. And Windows, Windows is making me crazy, too. Why does everything take 5 minutes to respond when I click on it? Do anyone know how much time we lose each day waiting for the computer to respond after we click and tell it what to do? I'd like to see a study on that. I'll bet I spend an hour a day waiting for the stupid computer to just do what I tell it to do. Are we really sure that computers make things faster? I'm thinking they make things sit and wait a lot and that's about all. But with pretty graphics to hypnotize and distract us so that we don't realize how much of our lives it is wasting. Can you imagine if pens and pencils took as long to respond as some of the applications we use on the computer? No one would tolerate that. That's why they came up with the stupid hourglass icon, because without some shiny distraction, people would realize we are being screwed and toss our computers in the trash.




Octomom

Everyone is all up in arms about 'Octomom', which I have to be honest, sounds just enough like 'Doc Oc' to remind me of old Spiderman comics and throws my mind into reverse, going back to a time long ago when I was a tiny little kid and comic books cost less than a dollar, but I digress.

Did we not just elect a president that promises to add more women exactly like Octomom to the welfare rolls, and then explode those rolls to include any person of color or politically correct 'gender' who wishes to jump on board the Freedom Train? I mean, Obama won by majority, did he not? Yet these same women, er, people, are all upset and screaming bloody murder over Octomom. WTF? Is she not the feminist American ideal? She's a single mother living off other people with a zillion kids, not because any man 'exploited' or 'oppressed' her, but because she CHOSE to do this. This is exactly what she wanted to do. And if she's able to cash in the whole thing and get rich, more power to her, right? I mean, if she can exploit, er, capitalize on her unique family situation and get rich, then she won't be living off welfare, right? And that would be a good thing, would it not?

jolie octomom
Octomoms

Why do I seem to be the only person who doesn't give a flying fart about this woman? I just can't seem to care. It's not as if she's beating them or locking them in closets or chaining them to beds or making them watch 'Oprah' or anything. Who cares?


Casey Anthony
Where's Caylee and are those real?

A few weeks ago I wrote about how annoying it was that every single time I turned on CNN all they talked about was "Where's Caylee?" And then they'd show video of Caylee's rather hot mom, Casey, being led around in handcuffs, which I have to say, merely added a certain kinkiness to her. But the story itself seemed to be the only thing in the entire world that was going on according to CNN.

Casey kink
Zack and Casey Make A Porno

Now it's "Where's Haleigh"! I mean, come on, the whole world is having a meltdown and all CNN seems to ever talk about is one missing child whom we all know already was murdered either by Mom or some random drunken boyfriend or something. When did Oprah buy CNN, or did Jane Fonda take it in her divorce from Ted Turner? I mean, missing and murdered children are tragic, but these two girls are only two among thousands and yet to listen to CNN you would think there were no others and nothing else of note going on anywhere in the world.


Barney fudge Frank
Barney Frank going off on AIG bonuses

U.S. Representative and fudge-packer in chief, Barney Frank is once again going off on the execs at AIG for getting bonuses. Barney Frank is the second most responsible person in Congress for the mortgage meltdown, having received multiple payoffs from Fannie Mae chief and now Obama adviser, Franklin Raines, for his role in preventing any government (Republican) intervention to regulate and thus prevent the massive housing crisis we are facing right this very moment. Barney is screaming louder than anyone, including crazy Nancy Pelosi, about how evil the bank execs are because he knows he is more guilty of wrong-doing than any one of them and he's afraid someone is going to call him on it. Of course, no one in the Press is going to nail him for this because they love him long time and from behind.

"Methinks thou doth protest too much" asshole.


Japanese robot girl
Japanese resort to building girlfriends

In Japan, a nation listed as having the least sex in the world, workaholic males there have resorted to building a mechanical girlfriend in order to compensate for the lack of willing women. They've even requested permission to have their new 'female' robot walk down the catwalk in a fashion show alongside real women in order to show off their accomplishment.

Currently the robot isn't particularly useful, either as a replacement for workers or for girlfriends, as it costs $200,000 without any skin. And to be frank, but not Barney Frank, it isn't very attractive without any skin.


Don Imus
Don "Nappy Headed Ho" Imus has Prostate Cancer

Radio talk show host Don Imus, he of the "nappy headed ho" non-controversy, has been diagnosed with stage 2 prostate cancer. You might think that after discovering he has this cancer, and then learning that because of the Women's Health Initiative, there is not one single dime of taxpayer funding going to research this or any other cancer affecting males, he might speak up about how wrong this is. You might think that he might notice that no federally funded medical research for anything at all, even heart disease, permits any males to be included in or benefit from the studies. You might think he'd notice this and say "hey, feminists in Washington are intentionally killing off all the males in America!" But no, he hasn't said a word about it. Like all the other 'men' in the entertainment industry he is silent about this mass murder via neglect, even though he himself may die as a direct consequence of it.

Ah well, as they say, all that is required for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. I suppose that might include Don Imus, too, depending on how strict you are with your definition of 'good'.



Iron My Shirt, Bitch


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