Sunday, March 8, 2009

Family Guy: Two Feet in the Grave

By Roode

Way back when... before FOX became monumental shit bags and got heavily into reality shows, Family Guy was aired. It was a glorious time. A time of funny, irreverent comedy. A time of never before seen animation in prime time. A time that for an edgy, funny, bladder busting good time. That time has passed. As with the every increasingly preachy Matt Groening, Seth MacFarland has abandoned comedy to force feed his beliefs and dogma to his viewers.

That's it. Taste the preachy goodness...

I know who I am. I know what I believe. And I believe comedy should be funny and not a soap box. I want funny! I don't want rhetoric. Why aren't prime time cartoons funny anymore? Family Guy. What have you done?

I don't care about your particular political leanings, social beliefs, or lifestyle choices. If I wanted fanatics from either side of the aisle I would watch FOX News and CNN while systematically hitting myself on the head with a brick. I have to think at work. I have to think about the world's issues when I want to take a vacation with my wife (I'm a Canadian national, being America light has some benefits). I tune into prime time TV to get lost in fiction. MacFarland, you're an ass.

Funny, this is a douche bag, but it doesn't look Irish enough to be Seth MacFarland

I guess over the next four years (if Family Guy lasts that long) we can get back to the funny. MacFarland won't so feel compelled to write scripts slamming lines of thought that don't juve with MacFarlandism. Maybe we have episodes as funny as the first few seasons pre FOX cancellation. We won't have to endure 25 minutes of MacFarland at the pulpit. Oh, I pray for that day.

Hear me television watchers! Hear and be converted to MacFarlandism!

It's not only the political and social "teaching" this nut bag slings that puts this series on a gurney heading towards the ER (although I think it will be DOA before the medical staff has a chance to resuscitate). More often than not, it's just not funny anymore.

I can't be the only one that thinks this way. There are two types of prime time animation watchers in the world. The first kind will take the Simpsons and Family Guy on a pedestal and adamantly believe that they can do no wrong' no matter how much pain they endure. We call them Stockholm Syndrome suffers. These people have started to exhibit sympathy for their captors. Now they don't want to... no .... they CAN'T leave!

There was no way I could find a picture of the Stockholm Syndrome. Enjoy this aerial photo of Stockholm, instead.

The second camp, which has its share of stones thrown at it, is made up of evolutionists. Only the strong survive. In the prime time cartoon world, funny is survival. If you abandon clever funny then you opt for shit funny. What's shit funny? Oh, I don't know... maybe writing that Peter catches a "case of the gays" for 20 minutes. It wasn't offensive. It was just stupid. Or how about that gem, "Prom Night Dumpster Baby?" Magnificent piece of comedy. Oh, wait, Stewie's gay. Yup. He is gay. MacFarland can't stop beating that dead horse. Subtle jokes about Stewie's closet homosexuality were funny. They were clever. MacFarland said "Fuck that! I needs to get paid and I don't feel like thinking. Let's just show scene after scene of Stewie at a glory hole. Isn't that clever and subtle enough?"

MacFarland took the bar he raised seasons before and slapped the audience in the nuts with it. This camp wants funny or wants cancellation. Come on FOX. Deal or no deal?

Case 17 contains the only known funny episode of American Dad

I get it, you have some sort of god complex. Hell, I bitch about your show and still I tune in. It's out of hope, Seth. Pure, Obama like hope. I hope that you will find the funny. I hope I will be there, watching a Family Guide episode and not have to fast forward through a particularly unfunny scene (s). As Red said in Shawshank Redemption... I hope.

Hey, Red. I hear you're a man that can get things.
Can you smuggle me in some funny Family Guy episodes?


Yeah, I'll keep watching like a NASCAR fan hoping for a car crash. It's beyond my control, at this point. Seth MacFarland. Your guy got into office. Both Houses are on his side. The Republicans have been reduced to a bunch of midgets biting at Obama's heals. Can we please have the funny again?

Sincerely,
Roode

PS: Hey, Simpsons! You've sucked since Phil Hartman was murdered. I guess I have two things two hate Brynn Hartman for.

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