Showing posts with label tiger woods. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tiger woods. Show all posts

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Fight! Fight! Fight!

I have been sitting down at this computer week after week, night after night, for hours at a time, trying to take the ideas in my head and put them down here for my blog. Night after night something prevents me from completing a single post. Either the CPU is spinning at 100 percent for no damn reason, or the web browser is giving me fits, or Google just won't seem to find what I'm searching for even though I had it earlier that same day, or I'm distracted by something while I'm trying to write. It's always something. So this time I'm trying to just sit here and fling out whatever is in my head with less documentation, less Googling for supporting data or photos, and a willingness to kill any process, even if it's the damn virus scanner, that gets in my way. Look out, Blog, because I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore! Fucking PC! Fucking Microsoft! Fucking Google! AAAAAAUUUUGHHH!!! 

OK, I feel better. And now, as I calm myself, something has just popped up on the television that has both captured my attention and inspired me about what I want to write. Shazaam!


Tyra Banks

In the past I have slammed on Tyra Banks for various things she has said and done, such as when she said she was a domestic violence victim because she once dated a guy who put her down and made her feel bad with the things he said. But today I found out that she has done something that deserves as much praise as I can come up with. So I'm going to eat my words and all the bad things I've said about her. Apparently in October of last year, Tyra did an entire show on male victims of domestic abuse. She had women on who admit to beating on their men whenever they feel like it and she had men who had been abused or were still being abused. That may not seem like a big deal considering that everyone with a TV show has done this with abused women, but the feminist backlash against her for acknowledging abused men, which our very own President, Vice President, U.S. Senate, Federal Law, Department of Justice, Supreme Court, and all the politically correct colleges and universities, refuse to allow anyone to discuss or acknowledge in any way, is huge. I take it all back, every bad thing I said. I will even get on my knees and kiss her ass if she wants me to. This was really cool of her to do.




Mary J Blige, one week after opening a women's only "domestic violence shelter" in New York, because American law only recognizes women as victims, violently shoved a man aside and punched her husband in the face at a party in front of hundreds of witnesses in a fit of "I own you" jealous rage. She then began screaming at her Domestic Violence Victim husband that he had better not "Chris Brown" her and hit her back, somehow missing the irony in the fact that she is the Chris Brown of their relationship. Unless Rihanna threw the first punch, too. Whatever the case, New York's DV Police and DV Prosecutor have made absolutely no effort to arrest her, and have not even issued a warrant for her arrest. No one is holding their breath waiting for the arrest, though, as Elin Woods has similarly not been arrested or charged. And then there's the injustice of husband-murderer Mary Winkler, and countless others just like her, still burning fresh in everyone's mind.



After the apparent hypocrisy of the husband battering incident began circulating on the internet, Mary J's rep began insisting that it was all a lie and she had only slapped him. Then, realizing that slapping him was still domestic violence, the story changed again and it was insisted that Mary J was very nobly trying to stop a fight between her husband and her brother.

Despite New York being at the heart of the misandric feminist capital of the world, the mandatory arrest for domestic violence, mandatory prosecution to the fullest extent of the law, feminist holy land, no attempt has been made to arrest Mary J. Blige. No charges have been filed or pursued by the Prosecutor's office. Nothing at all has been done about this.

Not one of Mary J. Blige's sponsors has dropped her as their representative despite the fact that she is a violent spouse abuser and worst kind of hypocrite.



Monserrate

New York Democrat state senator, Hiram Monserrate, dragged his girlfriend through a lobby before throwing her to the floor. He was quickly arrested for domestic violence even though he and the woman do not have a domestic relationship. The National Organization for Women and the Democratic Party called for his immediate resignation, no trial needed. Since then, he has been convicted. “The Senate chamber is no place for those who inflict violence on women,” said Senator Brian X. Foley, a Suffolk County Democrat. “For the sake of the New York State Senate, I sincerely hope Senator Monserrate will heed my call and resign immediately. The consequence of his refusal to do so will be a forced expulsion from the Senate.” New York is, on the other hand, just the place for violence against men. Just ask Mary J. Blige.



Charlie Sheen and his wife, Brooke Mueller, were recently doing cocaine all night long and into the early morning hours when, predictably, they started going apeshit crazy and beating on each other. At some point, Mr. Sheen is alleged to have pulled a knife and threatened Brooke with it, which is a felony. Police arrived and arrested Charlie for domestic violence. The couple was believed to be divorcing at this point. A judge ordered them to stay away from each other until Charlie's trial has concluded.

Several of Mr. Sheen's sponsors, including Haynes underwear, have dropped him as their spokesman as a result of his arrest.


So good together.
So bad together

Rumor has it that Brooke was anxious to get back together as quickly as possible and the couple were seen together at a restaurant just this week.



One day you'll cheat on me
And I'll take a 9 iron to your face

Tiger Woods' infidelity to his wife, Elin, is widely known, as is his car accident after she confronted him about it. What is not as well known is that Elin Woods is alleged to have nailed Tiger in the face with the golf club that she chased him out of the house and smashed the windows of his Cadillac Escalde with, breaking 2 teeth and his cheek. The reason Tiger crashed, lay on the ground in near unconciousness, and was not available to speak with police for several days after, is because Elin hurt him so badly that he had to be taken to a surgeon and was trying to hide the extent of the damage. To put it bluntly, she nearly took his head off. Elin has not been arrested or charged with domestic violence, as the police never got a chance to see what had happened and the Woods' attorneys circled the wagons as quickly as possible.

Apparently in response to female anger at Tiger Woods for cheating on his wife, and despite the fact that he is a victim of domestic violence, several of Tiger Woods' sponsors have dropped him as their spokesman.


Those French fuckers

The French government has just made it a criminal domestic-violence-related offense for a man to shout at or insult his wife. The law is expected to cover every kind of insult including repeated rude remarks about a partner's appearance. I am not making this up. In standard feminist fashion, words have been redefined in order to make them mean things which they do not mean, but which make cherished dogma seemingly truthful and sane. France has deemed it "psychological violence" for a man to criticize or insult his wife. The fact that there simply is no "violence" involved is irrelevant. The dogma is all that matters. Oh sure, the law is written to say that it goes both ways. A wife can also be arrested and charged for the same offense. But as Mary J Blige has reminded us, that isn't how its going to work.



You gonna Chris Brown me?

Mary J Blige and other celebrities including 50 Cent, Timbaland, Wyclef Jean, actor Tyler Perry have all been accused of ordering steroids or human growth hormone from doctors and pharmacists. Blige is vehemently denying ever having used a performance-enhancing drug. Albany County District Attorney David Soares named all of the above celebrities who are named in the investigation. Mary J's representative, now quite accustomed to issuing denials, insists that Mary J. Blige has never taken steroids and is simply naturally very thickly muscled like a bodybuilder or football player.


Perhaps the steroids might explain the uncontrolled rage that resulted in her punching her husband dead in the face in front of a crowd of witnesses and then screaming hysterically at him issuing a challenge to hit her back like Chris Brown?

But, of course, she never took any steroids and also never hit anyone. She's an angel, just like Mary Winkler.


Mary Mary quite contrary



You know what? I think I'm going to write Tyra Banks a letter saying "thanks" for having the courage to do that episode on her show. I hear the show is ending soon. It seems almost a shame it's ending now that I've discovered that she really does sometimes have something important to say. Maybe I'll send her some flowers, too.


Thanks, that was really cool of you.


Friday, December 11, 2009

Happy Tiger Day!


Well gee, what's interesting in the news today? I can't think of a single thing.

Except, of course, for Tiger Wood's growing harem of hussies, hookers, and hustlers.

Tiger, the semi-black hero of American golf, mostly by virtue of the fact that he has some black in him, much like our current President, and also a tiny bit because he's exceptionally good at golf, has been held up to White America as a symbol, an example of Hollywood's mythical magical morally superior negro.

Yes, I know it's racist as hell. I didn't make this shit up. Drug-abusing Marxist movie makers in California did. Go yell at them.

So anyway, Tiger was held up to some pretty high standards. He's not just a great golfer, he's a god. He's not just good, he's perfect.

So, in response to these myths of the Superman of Golf, gold-diggers from all over came running.

Tiger had already married the wet-dream of most every red-blooded American man, Elin Nordegren, busty blonde Swedish supermodel AND identical twin sister of Josefin. Seriously, she has an identical busty blonde Swedish twin sister. She's a fucking porn fantasy come to life!


Elin


Tiger married Elin in 2003, after chasing her for 3 years, along with a long line of other single male golfers. He had now officially 'made it' in the eyes of every heterosexual male on earth.


You da man!


From the day of their marriage up until November 27, 2009, when Tiger mysteriously hit a tree while fleeing from his hot angry busty Swedish identical twin sister wife, Tiger was the King of the World. But when word got out that he'd been man-whoring around on her with some girl, and Elin found out about it, the King was all but dead.


Um, honey, why do you have my 9 iron - Oh shit!


Rumor has it that Elin went ballistic and ripped into The Tiger's face with her own considerable claws, before grabbing a 9 iron and swinging it at unknown parts of Tiger's body which may or may not have included his head. At this point, it is believed that Tiger grabbed his keys and ran for it.

For whatever reason, whether because Elin was walloping the windows out of the vehicle as Tiger was backing up, with Tiger subsequently swerving to avoid running over his angry wife, or because Tiger was drunk off his ass and barely able to control his Cadillac Escalade, he ended up smashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. Either Elin pulled him out of the vehicle and left him lying on the ground where a neighbor found him, or else he fell out of the vehicle and passed out on his own.

The scandal that resulted was enough to light up the airwaves. But that was only the beginning.

One by one, gold-digging hussy after gold-digging hussy came forward to announce to the scandal-craving world, that she, too, had fucked the Tiger.

Before long, there were enough women to form a new NFL football team.



Whether these women are telling the truth or simply seeking the spotlight, it hardly matters. The American news media is eating it up. Every day and every night the only story being reported with obvious gusto is the Tiger story.

In fact, even as I write this, the show I was watching has ended, and a show entitled "The Secret Life of Tiger Woods" has begun. But here's the thing: I don't care.

I know, I know, I'm suppose to be a big supporter of traditional marriage and the marital contract (did you know that if you misspell 'marital' it becomes 'martial'?) and thus get upset over someone cheating on their spouse. Yes, Tiger is something like one-fourth black and thus has been given extra love from our racist media, and you would think that this would inspire me to celebrate with extra Christmas glee when he is caught being a bad Tiger. Yes, his wife appears to have blatantly violated laws against domestic violence by assaulting Tiger in their home with a deadly weapon and I should be screaming for her arrest. Yes, yes, yes, I know all of that.

But I still don't care.

Tiger cheated on his red hot Swedish wife with a long line of hot women over a period of years. His wife found out and beat the crap out of him, landing him in the hospital. Now he's in deep trouble with his wife and sponsors.

Rumor has it that Tiger's similarities to Magic Johnson, the basketball star who bragged that he had slept with more than 1,000 women, were more than just coincidence. Tiger was going to Las Vegas and meeting up with Charles Barkley, pro basketball star who knows how to party just like Magic Johnson, and helped hook Tiger up with that lifestyle.

So I suppose there's a chance that Charles Barkley is at least partially responsible for Tiger's cheating and his wife's beating him up. He showed Tiger the ropes, or so they say. But I doubt the media is going to go after Mr. Barkley. He's never been viewed as America's King of Perfection.

Tiger is worth over $1 billion. His wife is subsequently worth at least half of that. I know they're suppose to have some kind of prenup, but be serious, this is America. She's a hot blonde female and he's a man. More than that, he's a man who is known to have cheated on her. That's all the excuses a PC judge needs to toss that prenup out. So far the word is that they plan to stay together and try to work things out. We'll see, I guess. I mean, whether we really want to see, or want to ignore it, the media is not going to leave this alone. So like it or not, we'll see how this turns out. But I still don't care. I'm just not interested.