Heat 97, Celtics 87

Around this time 4 years ago, Celtics fans were talking about lotteries. And now we're disappointed that we've only seen the C's win 1 title in 3 years. So let's not get too depressed about the possibilities of the Big Three breaking up. Let's not dwell on lost opportunities, or focus on the negative. In the last three years, this team went from a joke to a model franchise. They won 3 divisional titles, 2 Conference Championships, and 1 NBA Championship. They've become a face-franchise of the Association. They've rekindled old rivalries (Los Angeles) and established new ones (Miami, New York). This might be the end of an era for the Celtics. But it was one hell of an era.



Now to the game. You have to give credit to Miami. LeBron's been long criticized as a poor finisher. And before this series, I felt like if the Celtics could keep games close, their experience and clutchness would propel them to victory, just as it did in the Knicks series. However, the Heat were better in those late stages. Last night, while Ray Allen missed a three, and the C's turned the ball over with ease, LeBron, Wade, and James Jones were knocking down huge 3 point shots.



The Celtics turned the ball over 17 times. Garnett was 3 of 8 with his free throws. Glen Davis still can't find himself. Rondo played 30 minutes and most of those were ineffective. There was no singular reason for the Celtics losing. They lost for a number of reasons.



And without stellar 4th quarter performances from guys like Delonte West, it might have been over much sooner. West was the Celtics' best player in the 4th quarter. That's not a winning formula.



And at least LeBron's post-game interview was classy, and laced with praise for the Celtics. At the same time, he's still an annoying bitch, and I hope either the Bulls or Hawks destroy him in the next round.



Beat LeBron



-The Commodore

Breaking News: Gloria James Is A Crazy Psycho Bitch

This is the only thing I feel bad for when it comes to LeBron. His mom is an out of control, player humping, lush. That sucks. He brings a lot of this shit upon himself, but no one should have to deal with this.

Apparently, Gloria is back at it.
"Gloria James was taken into custody after an incident at the Fontainebleau Hotel at 4441 Collins Ave., according to Miami Beach Police.

Police have not given the details of her arrest, but said she was released early Thursday morning"

This isn't the first time she's been in trouble. Back in 2006 she got in a DUI and the Hummer incident in 2003 when LeBron turned 18.

More will come I'm sure.

LEBRON IS A BITCH WE KNOW...BUT REALLY?

I've been wait for a moment of silence to write this article. Lebron really dodged a bullet here somehow and he's lucky...but I can't let this pass. If someones being a bitch, gotta make him honest and call him out.

"At small forward, from St. Vincent St. Mary's High School, number 6 Lebron James."

This piece of shit doesn't come out.

In case you have no idea what I'm talking about. Last week when Miami made a visit to Cleveland, during the player intros Lebron didn't come out when he was called. He didn't show up until it was time for tip off.

Okay Lebron..."Where were you?" asked an ESPN analyst.

"I was in the bathroom, am I aloud to do that?" He said while looking away from the camera.

First of all, I can honestly say this. I played poker for a living for 3 years of my life. I routed Casinos to find the best games every single night to make my living. I retired making 86 dollars an hour. I did 48 hour sessions. You do the math. Sorry for the tangent, and I promise I'm not rubbing this in to anyone who longs for that lifestyle. I'm just pointing that I was very very successful. So take my word for it as a 76 percent winner every time I sit at the poker table.

LEBRON IS A FUCKING LIAR.

I was in the bathroom. Like, couldn't he think of another excuse? He knew he'd be asked. I'm sure his coach and "team lebron" (notice the no caps lebron lost his privilege to capitalize his name) had a meeting and talked about this. I retired from poker to become a filmmaker and more notably a film script writer. So transitioning from one career to another, here's what the conversation probably went.

lebron: Coach can I talk to you for a second

Erik: Sure LB, whats up

lebron: it's kinda private, can we talk in your office

Erik: Sure come this way.

Erik and Lebron walk to his office and enter. lebron closes the door behind him.

Erik: Whats up?

lebron: well tonights game got me a little nervous.

Erik: Oh don't be nervous, just play our game and we'll be fine.

lebron: No, not that, the introductions. There gonna boo me. Boo me loud. Someone might throw something. Me and my advisor team feel I should skip player intros.

Erik: Oh Lebron, I'm not sure if thats a good idea. Your gonna have to answer for that.

lebron: I don't wanna get my feelings hurt.

Erik: Really?

lebron: yeah. It might effects my game.

Erik: okay. Well what will you say to the media when they ask?

lebron: I don't know.

Erik: Well you can't exactly say you were in the bathroom.

lebron: OH MY GOD thats a great idea. Gee thanks coach this is the best idea since I decided to go on tv and tell everyone I was coming here.

Erik: Wow...maybe your right. Or it's as good as when I told the public our team was crying in the locker room.

lebron: people will believe me right?

Erik: Sure. Why wouldn't they? You gotta go you gotta go right.


Okay let me end this right now before I bored the shit out of everyone. I think he should have gotten more back lash for this than the decision. At least the decision was for charity. He was just plain scared. Thats the only explanation. I really have nothing more to say in the matter I just didn't want this to go unnoticed.

By the way. Miami got their ass kicked.