Monday, October 15, 2007

News Words and Their Meanings

Oh yeah, baby, to hell with the piles upon piles of posts sitting in draft waiting to be released into the Blogosphere! This shit was just sent to me by the famous Holly, so of course it goes first! This is funny stuff.


Here are the winners of the Washington Post Mensa Invitational, which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Put your thinking cap on. These are really clever!!! The 2007 winners are:

upside down house

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying (or building) a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

jimmy crack carter

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid AND an a- -hole.

doh!

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which only lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with.

redneck

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

al gore

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

boy power!

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting some.

graffiti

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

heavy boobs

8.Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

James Dean

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Jenna Jameson

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

duke rape lie

12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n. ): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

impotent

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

billy mays

15. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.


18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.


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