Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I Read the News Today, Oh Boy!


Hmm




Swedish grandmother hospitalised after beaver attack
Well, I hope her beaver recovers.

'Redneck Games' a problem for police
It was the ever popular Daisy Duke Camel Toe contest that started all the trouble.

Giant Lego man found in Dutch sea
We had always envisioned invading space aliens as being all slimy and scary.
But apparently they're giants made of Lego!

Firm sees big impact from enlarging condoms
Yes, yes, yes!

Boy man arrested in NJ schoolyard deaths
I wonder which half is the boy and which half is the man?
For his sake, I hope the lower half is the man.
Otherwise, no wonder he's killing people.

Woman has pencil removed from head
I know I had a pencil here a moment ago.
Dammit, where could I have left it?

Priest nabbed while running nude
Bless me, Father, for I have ... been more blessed than you, clearly.

Man smuggles monkey into NYC airport
How could they tell him apart from any other New Yorker?

Farmer attacks police with muck spreader
You attack our genitals, we attack you with shit.
Any remaining doubt that Western society is sinking lower and lower?

Bad bosses get promoted, not punished?
Who didn't know this already?
Anyone who has ever worked in a U.S. corporation or for the U.S government could have told them this.

Arkansas couple welcomes 17th child
There really isn't much else to do in Arkansas

No more crispy duck served at toilets
I think I'll have a pee ... and some crispy duck while I'm here!

Bubble gum with Nazi stickers sold in Israel
Collect the whole set!

Rapping kebab vendor stuns France
That's because he's a GANGSTA-rapping kebab vendor


* OK, it appears that these links aren't working anymore. That sucks, but I expect if there are any news stories here that you just must see, you can probably find them elsewhere via Google. Sorry about that.

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