Hello Kitty Congress

Vampires don't sleep
Last night, when all decent folk were at home getting ready for bed, Nancy Pelosi and her Botox Agents of Smoke and Change successfully shoved another socialist entitlement down the throats of the American people against the clearly expressed wishes of the majority. As she was doing so she said "this will end the insurance industry treating being a woman as a pre-existing condition." It was such a blatantly false statement that it nearly left me speechless. I took all of 15 seconds to catch my breath and shout, "fucking cuuuunt".

Yes, we've had exclusively female-focused tax-payer funded medical research in the U.S. for the past 15 years thanks to the Women's Health Act of the 1990s with nothing even remotely similar for men. Even prior to this, female-focused medical research was more heavily funded than male-focused. And irony of ironies, it has been the documented crisis of primarily females abusing and overusing their health insurance-covered access to doctors (i.e. frequent unnecessary visits) that has been one of the significant causes of medical costs skyrocketing in the United States over the past 20-30 years. This is fact, but a politically unpopular fact that both Democrats and Republicans won't touch with a ten-foot pole out of fear of an outraged response from female voters who dislike hearing anything unflattering that pertains to them. It is a fact that has many very well-understood reasons relating to evolution and reproduction which have nothing to do with slamming on women, but nevertheless remains true.

But a raging sociopath and filthy rich narcissist like Nancy Pelosi never lets The Truth get in the way of grabbing Power, or an opportunity to bitch and moan about how horrible it is to be a woman, even though she is currently the most powerful woman in the entire world. How depressing that is, knowing that no matter how much power, wealth, and control women like Nancy Pelosi have, there will never be an end to the bitching, and mostly about shit that isn't even true.


Then again, Harry Reid is a huge bitch, too, although he also bitches about how hard it is being a woman, so apparently when Men of the Left become bitches they truly become bitches and lose their manhood entirely. I wouldn't be at all surprised if Harry Reid dropped his pants on CSPAN and showed the world that he has no dick and is damned proud of it. He's a gigantic vagina.


Good Vagina
I'm not talking about the good kind of vagina, either, as in "Kim Kardashian's vagina is smokin' hot." I'm talking about the flappy, saggy, drippy, fish-smelling kind like Madeline Albright has, dry as a bone and just as useless except for the constant dripping of urine into her Depends adult diapers. That's Harry Reid in a nutshell. And Al Franken. And Joe Biden. And Barack Obama. And so many American politicians, in fact. I think it's only a matter of time before all the male Democrats in Congress, and a great many of the male Republicans, begin wearing pink dresses as a way of symbolizing that they renounce their mythical "male privilege" and are truly very sorry to have ever been born with penises at all.


Democrat-controlled Congress
Maybe I should start a political campaign to try and push them to actually do this? I'll call it the "Surrender Your Penis for Women's Empowerment" campaign and use lots of guilt and bullshit to pressure them by bitching and moaning about how the richest and most powerful people in the history of the world, American women, have it super duper hard and all "have a right to be angry." I'll write lots of editorials to the New York Times moaning that how the only way the men in Congress can show their commitment to women's "empowerment" is to renounce their own (very questionable) manhood and wear pink Hello Kitty dresses every day for the next 2 years. And then I'll sign my letters "Susan Sarandon."

Certain members of Congress would have no trouble with the Hello Kitty pink dress wearing at all, as some of them have been privately cross-dressing for their entire adult lives anyway.


Bad Vagina

---

A lot of conservative Republican voters are upset today. Pelosi's House shoved the government takeover of health care down the throats of The People despite the overwhelming cry from every single state of "we The People reject this and do not want it." The Senate did it before and all that remained was for the House to merge their bill with the Senate's and then send it to President Obama, who has never even read it, but guaranteed he'll sign it into law. That is happening as I write this.

All I can say to the depressed and screaming Republicans is, "what the fuck have you been doing throughout the past, what ... 50 years or more, ... that you didn't see all of this shit coming? Beginning back before most of us were even born, all of this has been openly planned and discussed and laid out in detail in books and articles and lectures and movies and TV shows, etc, etc, again and again, all through the '60s and '70s and never stopped even when Ronald Reagan was President and communism was supposedly on the run, through the '90s with great assistance from the Clinton White House, all during the Bush White House with willing cooperation from most Republican Senators until here we are today. Hell, a lot of this Marxist takeover shit was even openly promoted in propaganda on kids TV shows, so I know even the most mentally challenged had every opportunity to prepare for battle and get busy fighting long before it came to this.

Well, whatever. Just wait until the bill for this hits the paychecks of every single American citizen, Democrat and Republican alike. Wait until you hear the cries of "I can't afford this!" If you think the American economy is in the shitter now, just wait until tomorrow.


Our current economic policy

As for me, I'm watching this party with a drink in one hand and the bottle in the other and the full knowledge that I've done what I can do and will continue to do so. Whatever the outcome of this shit I'm going to keep fighting for what I consider important, and I hope you'll do the same. That's all you can do. Just don't be caught sitting on your ass in front of the TV complaining about shit when you didn't even try to do anything one way or the other.


Damn, somebody needs to do something

---

"Après moi le déluge"


Get up and fight or shut the fuck up.

Ain't Got Jack Crap

It's Monday again, dammit. I have nearly posted several different things, but pulled them all back. And ironically I have nothing specific to say, so who knows where this post is going?

I have spent a great deal of my limited free time the past few weekends trying to put together a video for a contest I want to win. This past weekend I tried to put all my footage into one final, coherent file to submit, only to come to the inescapable conclusion that the whole thing is shit. And then the computer crashed and LOST IT. I was screaming "FUUUUUUCK" at 4 a.m. on Sunday. I'm not joking.

The deadline for this thing is this coming Sunday and I haven't got anything worthwhile. My time is super limited and I only have access to my tools for video editing on weekends. Oh hell.

A year ago I paid $1000 to have new air-conditioning installed in my big-assed 4x4. I live in The South, which is America's equivalent of Melbourne, Australia, with its tennis-pro-melting, forest-killing, record-setting heat-wave. Except that we also have horrific humidity to go with the heat, so that not only do you feel like you are in a microwave oven in summer, but it also feels like you're standing in a bowl of soup. In short, it gets nasty when it's hot here. Air-conditioning is not optional.

So, $1000 one year ago for air and as of last night my compressor was roaring like an angry lion, which is a sure sign of early death. I'm pretty sure they won't repack the bearings and send me on my way. These days everything is made in China and Mexico and when it fails, which is often because, well, its from China or Mexico, no one knows how to fix it anymore. So they just chuck it and force you to pay for a new one. I don't much feel like paying for another $1000 air-conditioning compressor. I want the one I paid for to fucking WORK. Actually, it currently DOES work, but it's also currently winter here in the States, so I don't need it. What I need it to do is to stop roaring because I know it is going to die altogether long before summer gets here and then, when I do need it, it won't be there. Also, when it finally locks up completely I'll be stranded, because it'll break the belt on the front of my engine when it goes. Bastard piece of shit!

Last night, as I was driving from Memphrica back to North Alabama to prepare for my week of working, I encountered the usual weaving drunks. Sunday is ironically a day in which liquor sales are not allowed in most Southern states. Yet it is also the day in which I encounter the most drunk drivers. None of the weaving drunks crashed into anyone last night, so I didn't worry about them too much. But this morning something unusual happened.

I was driving north on the parkway, heading into work, surrounded by a sea of Alabama hammerhead traffic sharks, the sort of animal that circles you and then gets in front of you in order to drive as slowly as possible. Their goal is to kill you by causing you to become angry and either crash as you attempt to get past them, or perhaps have a stroke and die of heart failure. It's a passive/aggressive attack. Anyway, this morning I came upon a black Corvette hammerhead shark in the left-hand lane, going 45 mph. He had someone stuck behind him and was enjoying playing with his victim when he noticed me passing on the right in my roaring, soon-to-be-lacking-air-conditioning truck. He of course instantly sped up to 65 mph in an attempt to block me and prevent me from passing. But I ignored him and passed him anyway.

This made him very angry. So he began to tailgate me.

Tailgating a full-sized 4-wheel-drive truck in a Corvette is a bit like a possum trying to push a horse. The horse isn't likely to notice and may accidentally step on the possum. But in the meantime, the possum feels powerful, as if he's really accomplishing something.

Like most hammerheads in traffic, the Corvette quickly lost interest in chasing me from behind and went back to blocking the poor sucker still trapped behind him. Also, we passed a cop who had someone pulled over and was writing them a ticket, and the driver of the Corvette, as I soon observed, had reason to fear being pulled over himself. So he quickly slowed down and forgot about me.

As he fell further and further back behind me I noticed that he was weaving. I had noticed it before, but not paid much attention. He hadn't been weaving as badly before, but now he was weaving badly enough that he nearly hit a car next to him. And he was clearly unaware that he was doing it.

He was drunk.

This was a first. I've always encountered more than the normal amount of passive/aggressive bitches in traffic here in Rocketown, but this was the first time I had ever encountered a drunken one at 8 o'clock in the morning, driving in rush hour traffic.

Ah, wait a minute! Today is 'Presidents Day', a meaningless holiday created by merging Washington's birthday with Lincoln's birthday. Both days used to be a federal holiday for all government employees, but then the communists took over and demanded that we create a new holiday for Martin Luther King Jr instead. So they merged the birthdays of our Founding Fathers in order to make room for MiLK Day.

So, today all government employees, which are about half the people in the Rocket City, are off work. And this guy, cruising aimlessly in his black Corvette, drunk off his ass, must be a government employee. He must be enjoying the day by driving around stoned and screwing with people who have to get to work. That explains it!

So, mystery solved. Yay me. I'm Adrian Monk.

Meanwhile, my compressor is still roaring and I'm pissed about it.



Speaking of pissed, that reminds me, the New Government has begun a program to fuck with ammunition for guns, trying to track buyers, which has already been ruled unconstitutional, force manufacturers to mix taggets into the gunpowder of every bullet, which has already been tried and found to screw with the firing of it, and also to invent primers which expire and fail after 6 months, leaving homeowners to be killed when attempting to defend their families with non-firing weapons because of faulty ammunition. Most importantly of all, though, individual citizens will be unable to fight against a corrupt regime in any sort of American Revolution against tyranny because our ammo will turn to junk while the now-all-powerful government's won't. My Wife heard about this and asked me to go buy ammunition. This is the first time she has ever asked me to go buy anything related to guns, so you know funky things are happening here. It didn't take long, did it? I have a feeling, though, that there isn't going to be a single box of bullets left anywhere in this city because I am late in hearing about this and all the other citizens who are paying attention will have already gone out and bought it all up. Also probably already bought up will be really expensive military-style rifles that I would never buy under normal circumstances (because they cost so fucking much) and don't much care to go pursuing now.

Oh well, I plan on moving to beautiful Australia anyway at some point. What do I care? My biggest concern right now is the embarrassing fact that I'm not certified for scuba diving and I can't surf. Oh, what a lousy Australian I'm going to be!