Rorschach - or - What the fuck is that supposed to be?

After reading my posts regarding my recent experiences with bikini-clad women on the Florida beach finding me so very attractive only to turn around and try to have me arrested for an illegal boner, it was recommended that I see a psychologist or other similar professional. I tried to argue against this. I swore up and down, "your honor, those women had the hots for me like you would not believe. It was insane!"

Alas, I did not help my case at all.

The very first thing my new 'friend' did upon meeting me, was to sit me down with some not-very-good finger-paintings that she had done and ask me to look at them and tell her what I saw. Some people call this the Rorschach Test, but I call it smeary shit that looks like a lot of different things depending on how drunk you are.

Anyway, here are the paintings she showed me along with my interpretations. I'm sure you'll see exactly the same things I saw because it was just all so ridiculously obvious and also I was painfully sober at the time:



One of those old-fashioned girdles from the '50s


Girl in a raincoat walking down a path between two hills. She's having the period from hell.


Two big-tittied chicks holding expensive purses and dancing together.


Man lying on his back staring up at the sky because he's fucking lazy. He also appears to have a stick up his ass.


Mothra! AUGH!!! Someone call Godzilla!


Dragon fly escaping a woman's vagina. Or maybe skimming the water. Yeah, that'd make way more sense, wouldn't it?


2 1950s era sockhop high school girls dancing, ponytails flying up in the air, pregnant bellies touching


2 bears and a pterodactyl playing poker around a campfire


2 Chinese dragons facing off in an ultimate fighting cage match. The audience is in red because China is communist.


A cow in a blue bikini top, big red shawl, yellow gloves and green stretchy pants dancing in front of the Eiffel Tower. Two women in blue wigs, yellow tops and orange pants are dancing on either side of the cow. It must be some sort of French disco for cows or something.


So anyway, there you have it. I don't see how this is any big deal, but she seemed to feel that it was very important. I also complimented her on her big boobs and giant '80s-style glasses, but on retrospection, I probably shouldn't have mentioned the ugly glasses. She's probably pretty self-concious about those.

Next week I should find out what she thought that my opinions of her paintings means on some 'deeper' level. I hope she doesn't show me any more of them, though, because to be honest, her work really sucked and it was hard for me to hide my real opinions. I don't want to hurt her feelings. She strikes me as a really lonely woman who probably doesn't get out much.


My stupid doctor who can't paint worth a shit


So anyway, what do you see when you look at the Rorschach paintings?