What is it with passive/aggressive drivers that they can't stand to allow any other car on the road to reach its destination without them doing all they can to stand in its way? Why do so many people in traffic have so little interest in reaching their own destination that they feel the need to spend all their time looking in their rearview mirror, fucking with the cars behind them, even to the point of preventing themselves from getting anywhere? They seem perfectly happy to make no progress in their own trip just so long as they prevent everyone else from getting anywhere. What a bunch of cunts.
Today I found myself in the left turning lane at an intersection where the light was green. I was the 2nd car in line waiting to go behind a silver Volvo.
Anyone who has ever studied any psychology, especially as to the choices people make in the types of cars they drive and the color of car they prefer, can tell that you a silver Volvo in the Southeastern United States is a pretty good sign that the driver is an overly uptight, self-righteous, pretentious little cunt. And this particular silver Volvo proved to be the rule rather than the exception.
We sat at this light for a good 10 minutes. It was clear to go, but he merely rolled forward an inch or two and made no effort to cross the intersection.
I say 'him' because the driver had a short silvery-gray haircut, meaning it was either a bitter little man or else it was an angry old dyke. Either way, the person driving wants to be perceived as masculine by virtue of their short, masculine haircut. How we present ourselves in our personal appearance tells a great deal more than we sometimes realize.
At first I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps he was just a really lousy driver and was afraid to cross even though it was so very clear? But then I noticed that he rolled forward just to the point of being barely over the line, indicating that he clearly intended to go at some point prior to the light changing.
It was after the third gigantic clearing in which he did not cross that I felt I knew for sure what this cunt was planning to do. But I was baffled as to why he would do such a selfish prick of a thing.
This cunt was planning to wait until the light was changing, just as there was hardly any time for any of the rest of us to cross, and then go for it, preventing anyone other than himself from making it through the light. And there was absolutely not one fucking excuse for him doing this. I had pulled into this lane behind him without having spent one single second driving in traffic with him. We had not had any exchange or confrontation of any kind. There was no chance that he had thought I was tailgating him, or driving faster than he approved of, or doing ANYTHING AT ALL for him to be unhappy about. I had simply pulled in behind him and waited patiently for the stupid pretentious little cunt of a man to cross the intersection in his faggy silver Volvo.
So I waited for him to make his move, determined that I was not going to allow the old nutsack to fuck me. Sure enough, as the light was changing, he slowly rolled forward and then started to go just when he thought for sure no one else would make it across.
I went with him, like it or not.
He did not.
He locked up his brakes. He locked up his brakes for absolutely not one single reason in front of all those witnesses, intentionally trying to cause a collision simply to prevent ANYONE from getting through that intersection come hell or high water, because BY GOD he wanted to be an asshole and I was fucking up his plan by making it through the light with him.
I knew he was going to do that. Passive/Aggressive little cunts always do the same stupid tricks. They're as predictable as Paris Hilton contracting herpes, as Barack Obama promising tax cuts that turn out to be the largest tax increases in our nation's history, as any murder mystery on CBS in which a white male did it, as the sort of person who lives in Alabama and yet drives a silver Volvo.
I whipped my wheels and went around him. He slammed his gas pedal to the floor as he saw me escaping his master plan and threatening to get in front of him.
HOW DARE I TRY TO PASS A MAN WHO DOESN'T WANT TO GO AND HAS COME TO A COMPLETE STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF AN INTERSECTION FOR NO FUCKING REASON! WHO DID I THINK I WAS TO DENY HIM HIS VICTORY?!
He zipped straight towards another car that was waiting to cross as soon as he got his pretentious cunt out of their way there in the middle of the intersection. I was now driving beside him in a 4-wheel-drive truck that could easily shove him right into that car. I briefly considered allowing him to hit them head-on rather than move and let him cut me off again.
And then I let him in.
I don't know why I let him in. He didn't deserve it by any stretch of the imagination. I guess that's why I don't drive a silver Volvo. I'm just not a cunt and I don't want to become one. So I let the shithead zip back in front of me just in time to avoid possibly killing the woman in the car he was fully prepared to plow into head-on in order to 'beat' me.
Now we were heading towards home. And I could tell the gray-haired Volvo fruit was nervous. Passgive/aggressives love to fuck people and run, but when their victims are in a position to follow them home and confront them face-to-face they piss themselves. And I will fucking confront you when you do something as stupid and selfish as this if I feel that you're worth my time.
I followed him to the next main intersection. Suddenly he wanted to be all nice and kindly. He used his blinker. He turned right without blocking everyone behind him first even though the traffic was no clearer here than it had been at the previous intersection. I even had time to go right along behind him. So I did.
When he immediately tried to lose me by jumping into the center turning lane and taking the very first side street, I jumped in the turning lane with him. I turned right along behind him. Together we climbed up the very same hill I had jogged just a few weeks ago as a personal challenge because of how incredibly steep it is. I knew exactly what thoughts were passing through his now frightened little gray head.
"Shit, he's following me! What do I do now? I know! I'll drive around for awhile and then maybe go to someone else's house, like I live there or something. But what if he pulls into the driveway behind me and traps me? Shit! Then I'd have to face him like a REAL MAN. I can't do that because I'm a giant pussy. I'll just drive around, lead him all over town, waste his time until he gets bored. Or maybe I'll call the police. But what will I say? He hasn't actually done anything. He's not even riding that close, which is making it hard for me to lose him, DAMMIT! I'll just drive around all night long."
Yep, so we drove for awhile until I felt satisfied that the twat was shitting himself over his stupidity back at the intersection. Then I broke off and went home.
Sometimes people need to think about the shit they pull on other drivers in traffic. Sometimes people need to shit themselves when they've been acting like an ass for no good reason and tried to cause a wreck which might potentially kill someone. Intentionally causing a collision is a crime by the way. With witnesses to testify that they saw some cunt in a Volvo lock up his brakes for no reason and that he appeared to want the car behind to hit him, it shouldn't be that hard to show criminal intent. It's not an 'accident' when it's not an accident, you get me?
Anyway, his hair is a little grayer now than it was before, but he fucking deserved it.
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