Just Real Quick

Don't - don't you want me
As a Dallas Cowboys fan, I just want to say, any man who comes to a Cowboys game and DOESN'T want to see this, is a blazing homosexual and a shameful excuse for a man. I mean, seriously, what kind of man would rather see a bunch of sweaty guys throwing interceptions than look at Jessica Simpson's hot, authentic, non-silicon, genuine Texas woman body? You fuckers need to grow a pair.


And no, Jessica didn't cause Dallas to lose to Philadelphia last weekend. In case you failed to notice, Dallas didn't exactly shut down Green Bay and they didn't even have Brett Favre or their 2 starting corners, so get the fuck over it and leave the girl alone. Professionals don't lose because a hot girl is in a skybox. But sometimes they lose when their thumb is all hosed up and they can't hold onto the ball. Quit booing the hot chick!


We no boo Jessica
In the United States, we have our police scouring the roads looking to Taser men in the genitals for not wearing seatbelts or raising their voices. We arrest men who go into parks and pay $5 for a blowjob from some homeless guy in Memphis (yes, seriously, yuck.) We use our cops to pimp for female prostitutes, refusing to arrest them, but arresting instead the men who need them and then labeling those desperate men as sex offenders, as if any sex a man has is a crime simply by virtue of the fact that he is a man.

But in China, they have pee parks. Yes, pee parks. I don't know what it is, but perhaps the following photo is an indication?


China - the next great world power?

Down in Australia, apparently they have a tradition of partying like mad throughout the entire month of December, spreading Christmas cheer for a good 30 days instead of just the one. Businesses are hoping to get more productivity out of their lively and fun-loving Aussie employees, so they're encouraging them to drink less and work more. They say it's working and that the annual Christmas partying is now down to about 2 weeks or so. Personally, I think they should leave matters alone and just send free plane tickets to overworked and frustrated Americans who need a good break. Drunken American tourists would spend enough money while down there, drinking and laughing, to more than make up for the lost productivity. Then, when it was all over, we'd pick up our shit and go back home. They call this win-win in the business world. I say the Australian establishment should give it a try. I'll be anxiously waiting for my ticket, bags packed and ready to go.


Ho ho ho, mate!