Emasculated Male Energy Drink

Jim Bartone, formerly Jim Bartone-Potts, is an active father of three and creator of the popular nutritional supplement, The Emasculated Male Energy Drink, or The Big “EMED”, as it is known to it’s many faithful followers.

Just three years ago, Jim found himself a shell of a human being stuck in a hopeless marriage to Judy Potts: PTA (Parent Teacher Association) President, Bowling Coach, Jazzercise Expert, Corporate Lawyer, Backseat Driver, and skilled Emasculator.

Jim and Judy met at Memory Lanes Bowling Alley in Red Bank, NJ on a quiet night in the fall of 1996. Jim was throwing a few games to blow off some steam after a rough day at the office-he was working as a mortgage broker in the offices of Bingham Coolidge, in Red Bank. Judy was working as a bowling coach to earn some extra cash for a Vespa she’d been hoping to buy for herself. Judy, a self-taught and self-proclaimed master of the Lanes, preferred to be called by the nickname, Pentagon, (a name she had given herself one afternoon while staring at her reflection in the mirror), while on the clock at the alley.

Jim was having a rough night with the pins, and Judy was teaching Rory Tunkorfson, local youth bowling champion a few tips in the next lane. Taking notice of Jim’s struggles, Judy, Pentagon rather, stepped in with some down-home advice: she walked over, took the ball out of Jim’s hand, and showed him how it was done.

Smitten by The Pentagon’s take charge nature on such a low energy day, Jim was happy to give her a lift home when she asked so sweetly, all the while making sure to be out of view of other patrons who might catch her in a vulnerable moment. The drive home and the sex that followed were a success.

Three children and 10 years later, Bill began to notice that he had lost himself in the Pentagon, and was void of opinions of his own. “I hadn’t made a joint decision with Judy Potts since we decided to wed in the spring, of 1997. I hadn’t hung out with my friends since the Horde Tour in 1998. I hadn’t smoked a cigarette since the last one I bummed off Bobby Jackson in front of Memory Lanes in 1996. My children were not allowed to take orders from me. I had been deemed an unfit parent because of my taste in Hollywood women and past relationships with recreational drugs. I was sperm walking … without a say in the world. It was pretty damn scary,” explained Jim.

It was at that moment in time that Bill decided to lose the hyphen from his last name and re-claim some sense of decency and self worth. By joining forces with Vitamin Giant, Parthenon pharmaceuticals, Jim Bartone was able to create The Big “EMED”.

“EMED changed my life. And it’s changing the lives of millions of men daily. People are holding EMED parties and getting real fired up about their next moves. You know we hear a lot about women in bad relationships, but what we don’t hear about are all the men out there who are being beaten down by their wives…physically as well as mentally. It’s pretty scary stuff. EMED isn’t a rally against females-it’s a necessary elixir to find that healthy balance,” said Jim.

EMED can be purchased at GNC, The Vitamin Shoppe, Trader Joe’s, Costco and some participating Food Town Stores. Just a quick tip: you can get tremendous savings by buying it in bulk at Trader Joe’s.

So if you’re a big push over who does whatever your wife tells you, and allows her to spend all of your money because you think she’s hot, or you might have great sex: think again. Some day gravity will find you both, and by that time you may not have the energy to grab for the EMED.

Be Gentlemen: Escape The Vulva Denta.